Kathunter's Personal Space

Ooooh! You double posted. You must be in a foul mood.

Hang in there, Kathunter. The FragDolls are the "IT" thang in the game industry now. You had to know with this kind of "marketing scheme"(and I don't mean that in a bad way), the press and publicity were sure to follow. Take it all in stride. Being somewhat famous means towing the line, unfortunately.

Although you are representing "girls in games", you are also representing Ubisoft. This kind of relationship comes with a price. Hopefully Ubi isn't forcing you women to do things you're not comfortable with, but they want the most bang for their buck.

This game mag asking you to pose in a miniskirt is a patently disrespectful thing to ask of you, but you've got to expect it. But you weren't out of line to let them know how you felt about it. A little snarl with that katscratch should put them in their place. A respectful, professional place. You have nothing to apologise for.

On the big fish in a small pond thing: It's always better to be the underdog. It's a very motivating place to be. If you think you can improve, you will. Hell, there's nothing wrong with self-reflection, as long as it isn't debilitating. Then it becomes self-loathing. Obviously, that's not healthy.

If I may be so bold to impart just a little advice, I would suggest figuring out what it is YOU really want from this Frag Dolls gig. What's your ultimate goal there? Is your short term desire really to be a great "girl gamer"? What's the real reason to have girls(women) represented in the industry? How will your contribution to the Frag Dolls, and the Frag Dolls in general, change the way the game industry does business? If you don't see it (the FDs) as a real motivator for change in the industry, are you spinning your wheels there?

I don't know how much time you actually get to invest in perfecting your writing. And I mean beyond the reviews and work you do freelance. But I suggest you put more time into it. Unless of course being a sponsored gamer is something you want. Than I'd say devote more time to that. You've got to find focus.

Hey, I understand the pull games have on you. It's a great release from the daily drudge. But I realise first and foremost that I am an artist. That is where my focus is. It's been difficult this year to stay focused let me tell you. I have devoted a great deal more time to games this year than I have in the previous two. But I don't think the time I have invested in those games has been a waste. It's informing me on my direction for the next few years. I closer now to what I want than I was last year.

I think I'm rambling. So on a final note: Decide what you want your short term focus to be for the next two years. If you don't see the FDs as the focus, if it's a detriment to what you want to achieve - i.e. writing -then quit. Hell, write a book about what it would take to level the production as well a playing field in the game industry. You know it doesn't have to be an almanac. Think "How to win games and influence the industry"......erh......for dummies. 300 pages. That's all it would take. :)

My two farthings.

Take care and stay strong.

> I'm not the "cute" one sent for media appearances.

But you should be ;)

Hope tommorrow (today ?) turns out to be a better day...

- loop

If I may make a somewhat "tiny" observation...

I know that we don't know each other well, but I honestly believe that you joining The Frag Dolls may have been a bit of a mistake. But before you start throwing things in my general direction, please understand that I'm in no way referring to your appearance or abilities, but more towards the timing of the group's inception.

I'm not certain as to what your reasoning was for joining the Frag Dolls in the first place. An educated guess might be that you wanted to represent female gamers, perhaps strengthen feminine empowerment, or maybe you were simply invited due to your already-established internet notoriety. And while it may have seemed like a good idea when you made your debut as a group in undefeated domination, the bubble may have burst as soon as the rest of the world began to realize just how pretty all of you are.

While I believe that raising the voices of the female demographic is the most important aspect of The Frag Dolls' creation, I believe that's far from what the industry and the press want from you. In their eyes, you are, first and foremost, every male gamer's fantasy plaything, and they will do anything they can to exploit that fantasy. Case-in-point: asking you to wear a mini-skirt, focusing the attention of the article on you and not on the actual point of the date, and, not to mention, those ridiculously inane questions they asked you at that Xbox.com interview.

"Who's hotter - Sam Fisher, Ding Chavez, or Master Chief?" In all honesty, who gives a shit?

The way you answered those questions, though, was a breath of fresh, sane air, since I was hoping that at least ONE of you wouldn't take those questions seriously. But in essence, that also set you apart from the rest of the group. Perhaps the other members are perfectly content with being targets of sexual desire first and gamers second. I'm guessing that you're not.

Anyway, the truth is, this world may not be ready for The Frag Dolls yet. Why? Because the rest of the world doesn't know that female gamers exist yet, even as a minority. The only problem is that they're still a very, very silent minority. We need YOU to be the trailblazer, though. We need YOU to give female gamers a voice. But, if that proves to be more trouble than it's worth, then I can understand your frustration should you decide not to be a part of it anymore. The only thing I would advise you to NOT do is change - at least not for the industry's sake.

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Some days are harder than others, huh baby? I had one of those today, too... I was feeling beaten down... spiraling somewhere dark. And then I remembered - I'm PMSing!! Or as my lovely friend Jem said to me once as she saw the distraut look on my usually chipper face, "Are you filled with doubt & worry?" And hilariously, as if this dear woman understood me to the core, I smiled ridiculously and shouted, "YES!!!" hahaha. So now PMS is officially called FoDW (Full of Doubt & Worry).

Anyway - blaming that time of the agonizing month or not - some days just plain out SUCK.

Thank god for cocktails!!! :)

Big kiss you sexy minx.
xoxo

why does seanbaby have a smaller gun?

;)

That you guys for the thoughts. I did not expect such well thought through comments on this post, but you have given me a lot to think about.